A divorce can have an impact on children, and you can dramatically reduce your child’s pain by making their well-being your top priority. Read along for some helpful tips on how to proceed through this life transition while also prioritizing your child’s needs.

Provide Therapy for the Child

The introduction of the unknown may cause children to begin to feel a range of new emotions that they have never experienced before. As parents and adults, we must a pause and acknowledge that not every family member is starting from the same place when navigating through a divorce. Children may need a mental health professional to help develop the emotional intelligence needed to deal with the exposure to new feelings.

An unfamiliar emotion that a child may experience could be guilt, leaving the child wondering if the divorce is their fault.

Divorce can introduce children to the feeling of anxiety, causing the child to feel a loss of stability in the family unit.

A child can begin to feel sadness, mourning the loss of the sense of family they once knew.

Another feeling that a child may express is anger due to the new changes being forced upon them, including the possibility of different living environments, spending less time with either parent or new financial strains.

The introduction of therapy to a child experiencing changes provides a safe place for your child to express themselves and address some of the above emotions in a non-judgmental environment.

A therapist can help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms such as:

• Breathing exercises

• Journaling

• Drawing

• Sensory toys

Therapy not only benefits your child, it also benefits the entire family and, sometimes, family therapy is also a good option.

Minimize Exposure to Conflict:

The divorce process is a major life change and often comes with an increased risk for conflict. It is important to remember not to talk about litigation with your child. Remember, the way you go through your divorce is the way it impacts your children, not always the divorce itself.

Children learn how to navigate through challenges by watching adults. Creating a healthy coparenting relationship shows children resilience, respect, and empathy.

Create respectful co-parenting relationship by:

• Use tools such as a co- parenting app for communicating

• Create a family calendar

• Family Therapy

• Practice self-care

How you navigate your divorce and the respect you show to your co-parent directly impacts your children.

Prioritize Open Communication

Prioritize open, honest and age-appropriate communication. Try to be the parent that your child turns to when wanting to discuss and explore these new emotions. Communication can take two forms: verbal and nonverbal.

Be mindful of the following verbal communication cues:

• Tone of voice

• Volume of voice

• Use a vocabulary appropriate for your child’s age

• Speaking clearly

Be mindful of the following nonverbal communication cues:

• Facial expressions

• Eye contact

• Body language

• Physical touching

Remember the importance of active listening. Simple gestures such as smiling, nodding or keeping good eye contact can give your child confidence and help them feel heard.

Maintain a routine at home:

With divorce rates higher than ever, how a parent handles their divorce can follow the child for a lifetime, including into their own relationships as adults.

Maintaining structure at home may help with:

• Relieving anxiety and the fear of the new unknowns

• Maintain the feeling of normalcy

• More united parenting front

Foster a better school performance:

• Routine homework time

• Set time for bedtime

• Organized wake up/before school routines

Children of divorce will face a new normal, but it also teaches them that divorced parents can also have a healthy relationship, resulting in a lighter more positive home environment. This could be the first example of resilience your child experiences.

The chapter after a divorce will allow children to have more one-on-one time with parents, allowing each parent to shine during their parenting time and an opportunity to bond in a new way and that is special. Always remember, your children are watching everything you do, and this is a critical time to show how the actions you are taking are to provide a healthy, positive future for the family.